When a friend asks me for advice about being stressed at work, I find it hard to answer. Not because I don’t care, but because I am not in a position I feel gives me the right to offer advice.

Autism and ADHD affect me quite a lot, and my independent functioning is low most days. This makes working a conventional job a risk to my health and safety.

But here is the nuance — I still understand stress and tired nervous systems. Not from the stress of a job, but from the stress of living.

Therefore, my advice to my friend would take an approach I feel I would need to take if I were in their position.

Firstly, I would ask for the details, because work stress is a wide scope for many people.

It can range from a particular issue with the actual job to stress from feeling overworked and under-rested.

My advice would be first to breathe. Then write your issue(s) down and ask yourself: how can I make this easier for myself?

Would a conversation with your supervisor or manager help? Maybe adjustments need to be made for you. Has the stress become so bad it is affecting your personal life? If it has, then perhaps a trip to your GP is in order.

I was asked for advice, not to fix the problem for them. So this is where my input would end, and I would hope they would take the next steps to relieve the stress.

Naturally, I would worry my advice was meaningless because I don’t live in the working world. From the outside, people might assume that means I have no idea what stress feels like.

I can assure you I do. I didn’t come to the conclusion that work was too much for me without first experiencing it.

For me, health will always come first. If you come to me for advice, it will always be person over everything else.

My advice may go against your ethics, but it will put you first.

— Frost ❄️